


Where Would I Go Without You

by canicallyoumaddie



Series: Our Story: A Domestic Klance AU [15]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Engaged Klance, Established Relationship, M/M, Storming out, talking about their future, they fight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-04-28 22:12:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14458875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canicallyoumaddie/pseuds/canicallyoumaddie
Summary: Lance is moving and leaving Keith behind. He doesn’t know for how long, but it’s safe to say that Keith isn’t taking this well.





	1. Kinda’ Want You To Go

**Author's Note:**

> HMNGGHH i’m Back kinda, sorry I took a hiatus for 100 years, idk how long this’ll last but this will be more than one chapter. I’m still working on my book chapter, so that’s most of my time, and there’s grad school that’s killing me, but I hope that you like this little bit of angst. Hehe. Thanks to enjayas for killing me with their fic and making me wanna write sad bois.

Keith was hammered. And pissed. Which made for a very dangerous situation when Lance was involved. Especially when Lance was the object of his ire.

The evening had started out innocuous, with a few drinks and some making out, but had devolved into a screaming match that rivaled some of their worst fights. Lance had been offered a job at a magazine, and he wanted to take it. Keith didn’t want to move. The discussion was...not going well. 

“But why do you have to move? Why can’t you just get a job here?” Keith demanded, eyebrows furrowed and fists clenched at his sides. “There are _plenty_ of good writing jobs here. Hell, you’ve _had_ some of them!” 

“Because, Keith, this is my dream job!” Lance said, trying to control his volume and failing. “I’ve been trying to get a job as a columnist for literally years and you’re telling me that you don’t want me to go because you’re _insecure_?” 

“I’m not _insecure_ , Lance, I’m just saying that we literally just got engaged, and we’re trying to plan what we’re going to do for the wedding and you’re saying that you want to _move_? We barely just got our future planned out!” 

“The future is unpredictable, Keith, this is just how life works. Are you just not happy for me that I got this job? Are you mad at me for leaving you _again_ after I had that internship in college?” 

Keith pinned Lance with a glare. “You know this isn’t about that. I just...don’t like the thought of you being gone for an indefinite time...” 

Lance looked at Keith like he was insane. “You mean to tell me that you wouldn’t move with me?” he said, visibly hurt. “You’re just going to stay here? Surely you know that I want you to come with me—“ 

“—I can’t just do that, though! I have a job! I have students, Lance! I can’t just pick up and leave them! 

“Sure you can!” Lance said, breathless and agitated. “Teachers do it all the time!” 

“Shitty ones!” 

“You aren’t a shitty teacher if you want to take care of yourself, Keith. We’re _engaged_. Are you really suggesting that we just separate for however long I decide to work there?” Lance was incredulous. Was Keith really suggesting that they do this? This late in the game? 

“I’m not _saying_ that.” 

“Well then, what are you saying? Because it sounds like you’re trying to take the easy way out.” Lance’s voice was raised, now, and he could feel ice creeping into his veins. It was taking everything he had not to pick up and leave right then and there. He didn’t know for how long, but he could stay in the suffocating environment of their shared apartment. It was too much. _Keith_ was too much. 

What he didn’t realize was that he had already started inching toward their apartment door. 

Keith’s words cut through the air like a knife. “Get out, I can tell you want to.” 

Lance looked at Keith like he’d just shot him. “What the _fuck_?” 

“You look like you’re just itching to leave, so just _go_.” 

“I’m not just going to _leave_ because I’m angry, Keith.” 

“Why not? You do it all the time.” 

Lance looked stricken. How...how dare Keith say that? He only left to cool off. He would never—he _wouldn’t_... 

“Do you _want_ me to leave?” Lance whispered. 

“Kinda’, yeah.” Keith had his arms crossed and his lips pressed into a thin line. It was breaking Lance’s heart. 

“Fine.” 

“Fine.” 

The door slammed once Lance threw himself out, and Keith collapsed onto the couch with heaving sobs.


	2. I Don’t Know What I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is in the car. Keith is on the couch. They’ve got some reflecting to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA I HATE MYSELF

Lance was in the car, tipsier than he’d like to have been, and sitting in the driveway. He couldn’t bring himself to pull away into the night, but he _had_ to get himself out of that apartment. Keith was suffocating. And the fumes from his anger would just ignite and blow everything to smithereens if he had stayed. It was better for him to step out and get some air, but he didn’t know whether Keith had punched a wall or collapsed in tears—his reactions were impulsive and illogical much of the time.

It was hard, sometimes. Being with Keith. He knew when they got started that t wouldn’t be _easy_ by any means, but _fuck_ if Keith didn’t just make it harder. Most of the time things were great. They were a great team, always there for each other with support and love; but sometimes the stress of their different personalities took a huge toll on them both. It was nauseating to think about, but sometimes Lance would wonder whether it really _would_ be better if they just...bailed.

Lance shook his head to clear it. That kind of thinking was absurd. He _loves_ Keith. Always. It took them so long to get there, and finally...now that they...it was just a long, long road that was difficult and heart-wrenching and just plain frustrating, but they _made_ it.

They would always make it.

———————

Keith cradled his head in his hands as his body was wracked with sobs. Ordinarily, Lance would be there with a glass of water, rubbing his back and placing soft kisses into his hair.

This time, Lance was gone.

God, why were relationships so hard? It took every ounce of strength that Keith had not to tell Lance to pack his shit, he was so angry. But after taking a moment to really think about this, he just felt...sad.

Was Lance going to just leave? He didn’t hear a car start outside and hoped against hope that he was still in the driveway. But if Lance came back, then he’d see what a mess Keith was, and Keith’s unbalanced state might just make things worse in the long run.

Maybe it _was_ better that Lance left.

No, Keith couldn’t think like that. That’s what destroys relationships. And he was desperate to see this relationship with Lance through. He loves Lance. More than anything or anyone in the world. It was so cliche, but it really was like he’d only seen in black and white before he met Lance. Now he saw in full color, and it was because a goofy boy with spaghetti limbs that made it happen. 

He dragged his hand through his tears, trying to dry his eyes, and picked up his phone. Holding it to his hear, he muttered “Pick up, pick up,” over and over until the line clicked and a voice answered “Hello.”

“Keith? What’s wrong?” Pidge asked, and Keith could hear the concern in her voice. It almost made him burst into tears again. “Are you...crying?”

“Lance left.”

“I’m sorry, _what?_ “ she nearly hollered in his ear.

“I don’t know for how long—I don’t think he’s even left the apartment complex, but he is definitely out of the apartment.”

“What in the world happened?” Pidge asked, incredulous. “I thought you guys were doing great?”

“Yeah, well...” Keith chewed his lip. “It’s kinda my fault, this time.”

“...What did you do.”

“I kinda’ told him to get out...”

“ _What?_ ” Pidge sounded pissed and Keith winced. “Keith you _fucking_  moron.”

”Do you think I don’t _know_ that?” Keith said, cradling his head in his hands and squeezing the phone between his shoulder and his ear. “I _know_ I’m a moron. I just got so mad, and I’m still kind of drunk...”

”Keith, are you _serious_? You had this conversation while _drunk_?”

”Everything was so nice, too...we were making out—“

”—‘Kay, ew—”

“—And it was _so nice_ , and then I got to thinking—“

”—Oh damn it—“

”Shut up—I got to thinking about how I wouldn’t be able to do that whenever I wanted if he was gone, and then I got sad, and then that sad just devolved into this ugly, angry mess that manifested as me yelling at him.”

Pidge paused for a moment, then sighed. “Sounds like you fucked up.” When Keith didn’t reply, she continued, asking, “What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m...” What _was_ he afraid of? Was he worried if Lance moved that he would leave him for someone else? He shook his head, no, that wasn’t it. “I think I’m afraid that he’ll realize his life is better without me when he moves away. I’m going to be so alone, Pidge.”

”But he said he wanted you to move with him, didn’t he?” Pidge asked gently, “What’s the harm in moving?”

”I...” Keith was scared. Plain and simple. “I don’t know.”

”Well...what do you want to do?”

Keith exhaled loudly out his nose and scrubbed at his eyes, gripping the phone tightly as he whispered, “I don’t know what I want.”

———————

Lance sat in the car with his eyes closed, head leaned against the head rest, as he attempted to process the events of the evening. They’d had a few drinks, and as things began to get hot and heavy, Keith pulled back and asked whether he was really going to move away. 

“Honestly, I want to—I don’t want to miss this opportunity...” Lance had said, “I don’t _want_  to leave, and I want you to come with me.” He groaned and leaned his head against the steering wheel, frustrated that Keith was being so difficult. He didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to just come with him. They didn’t even have permanent roots down yet. It hurt that Keith didn’t want to move with him. That his teaching job was more important to him than their relationship...but Lance supposed that was exactly what he was trying to do to Keith. It was confusing and frustrating, and tears began to well up in Lance’s eyes as he ground his forehead into the steering wheel. 

“I don’t know what to do.”


	3. I’ll Come Back To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi i still wanna defenestrate my computer

Lance scrubbed at his eyes and contemplated going back upstairs to the apartment. He still couldn’t bring himself to talk to Keith about it—the wounds still stung—but if he were to go to Hunk’s or someone else’s apartment, it would be better for him to have at least his toothbrush.

Steeling himself, he got out of the car and trudged up the steps to their apartment, noticing the curtains move as a figure stepped away from their balcony door. “Oh, Keith,” he muttered to himself as he grabbed the door handle, taking a deep breath and walking inside.

He felt Keith’s eyes on him as he entered the living room, but he didn’t look over; instead, he made a beeline for the bathroom and gathered a few things into his toiletries bag. When Lance said nothing, Keith’s shoulders slumped and he moved to the couch where he stayed silent.

Lance typed out a quick message to Hunk, letting him know that he would be there in a little while, and that he’d explain everything when he got there. Once he’d thrown some clothes from the bedroom into a backpack, he stalked back into the living room. Keith got to his feet and reached out to him.

“Lance, wai—“

The door clicked shut, effectively cutting Keith’s plea off at the knees. It hurt, but Lance still wasn’t in a position to have a discussion. He still needed to figure out what he was going to do in the event of fallout.

————

Lance cutting him off with a closing door shook Keith to the core. He was fragile, so fragile, and Lance completely ignoring him once he’d come back inside was devastating. He felt fear creep into his veins as he realized that he may have just cost himself the best thing that had ever happened to him.

_Stupid. Moron. You don’t deserve someone like Lance._

He could tell that the intrusive thoughts were coming back and they were only exacerbating the situation at hand. He didn’t know what to do. He usually had Lance by his side when these things happened, and he couldn’t remember what he did before Lance. The thoughts bore down on him like an anvil and he could feel all the air being squeezed out of his chest. He dialed Pidge’s number once more, gasping when she picked up that he needed her to come over. She said she would, and Keith braced himself against the back of the couch as he tried to wait, and in the meantime recover the air he was losing.

The fifteen minutes it took for Pidge to get there were almost too many, and when she finally burst through the door, he nearly collapsed in her arms.

“What happened?” she asked, frowning deeply and patting his hair awkwardly in an attempt to calm him down. “You sounded fine earlier, did he say anything?”

“H-he…” Keith took a deep breath, trying again. “He just w-walked in and didn’t say anything. He just _ignored_ me! A-and then he left.”

Pidge pursed her lips. “Do you know where he went?” Neither of them really needed to answer that question aloud. They knew it was Hunk’s.

“It’s probably best if you give him some space,” Pidge said. “He’ll come back, I promise.”

—————

Lance was starting to cool down on the drive over to Hunk’s, but he still didn’t feel good enough to turn around to go home. He was stubborn. He wanted Keith to apologize for blowing up at him. It wasn’t his fault that he got the job! His interview just had gone really well. Keith couldn’t blame him for chasing his dreams, could he? _Would_ he?

Lance hoped that Keith had started to cool down rather than get into a panic. He felt a twinge if guilt for that; leaving Keith alone with his thoughts, which were likely all catastrophic and would exacerbate any panic he felt. He grimaced. _I should be there _, he thought.__

He pulled up to Hunk’s apartment and slid out of the driver’s seat, suddenly hit with exhaustion. Fighting with Keith always took a lot out of him. They hadn’t had one this bad in a really long time, though…

Lance knocked on Hunk’s door. His friend opened it and immediately enveloped him in an enormous hug.

“Hey, Buddy,” Lance said, patting Hunk’s shoulder in a request for release. Hunk got the message and lowered him to the floor. “Thanks. And thanks for letting me come over. Things got...bad.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Hunk asked, opening the door wider for him to come in. Lance shrugged and breezed past him before launching himself onto the couch. Hunk’s eyebrows knit together and he crossed his arms. “You probably should.” 

“Keith’s mad that I’m moving. He’s afraid I’m going to want to leave him.” Lance pushed himself up onto one elbow. “Do you think he really has that little faith in me?”

Hunk shook his head and scooted Lance’s legs from the couch. “No, I don’t. I think that he’s just scared. He’s probably feeling a lot of intense feelings right now and just doesn’t know how to deal with it.”

Lance groaned and slung an arm over his eyes. “I don’t want to talk first, Hunk.” 

“You want him to realize how badly he hurt you? You’re _punishing_ him? Don’t you think that’s...petty?”

Lance threw his hands out to his sides in exasperation. “Well what am I supposed to do? Just go back and say I forgive him? Just like that?”

Hunk shrugged. “I mean...yeah.”

Lance glared at him and he put his hands up in supplication. “Hear me out. You love him, right?”

”Yes, albeit grudgingly today.”

That earned him a reprimanding glance and Lance had the good sense to look sheepish. “Sorry.”

”You love him, and you don’t want to lose him, right? Well the longer you drag this out, the longer things are going to stay uncomfortable for you and devastating for him. He already doesn’t sound like he’s in good shape—Pidge texted me and said that he was basically sitting with his head in her lap, sobbing.”

Lance grimaced. “Really?”

”Yeah.”

”But it isn’t my fault!” Lance whined. “He was the one who blew up at me for no reason.”

”Well, maybe you don’t have to apologize or anything—maybe you can just go back and _he’ll_ apologize to you,” Hunk reasoned. 

Lance considered that. He knew that he needed to go back. He couldn’t run from his problems forever, and it seemed like this was a really deep wound that even he didn’t realize was there. It dawned on him that he was playing into Keith’s fears. That everyone in his Keith’s life would just...leave. And now he was leaving and he didn’t even consider Keith’s feelings. 

“I’ve been a real jerk, haven’t I?” Lance whispered, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Not a jerk. You’ve wanted this job for a long time. I don’t think you should give up on your dream, but I do think you two need to talk about it more,” Hunk said. 

“I thought we _had,_ though. But it seems like we really didn’t,” Lance said, and that realization was painful. Sure, the job offer was sudden, and he could technically commute, but it would be so much easier if he moved to the job location. And he wanted Keith with him. That was the thing he was most certain about. 

“So what are you going to do?”

Lance pushed himself to his feet and steeled himself. “I’m going home.”

Hunk looked surprised. “You are?” 

“Yeah, I need to make things right. I need to make sure that Keith knows I don’t want to go anywhere without him. I don’t want to force him, but I do want to make sure that he knows how much I love him. I don’t want to choose my job over him. I want both. And I’m going to make that happen.” Lance’s blue eyes were bright with determination, and he knew that he needed to be the bigger person. 

Hunk’s phone chimed, and he gasped when he looked down at the message. “Pidge said Keith is ready to talk.”

——————

Lance climbed back into his car and drove back to the apartment, recalling the last of his and Hunk’s conversation:

—

” _I’m proud of you for taking the high road.”_

_”I just know that I love Keith and I need him to know that he is important to me. I don’t want him to go to sleep thinking that I hate him or that I don’t want him in my life.” Lance sighed. “Maybe we can talk it out and come to a compromise. One where he doesn’t feel like I’m abandoning him.”_

_”I think deep down he knows that you aren’t. He just probably feels like you sprung this on him and he didn’t get any say. You guys are trying to build a life together, you know.”_

_Lance chewed on his lip. “Yeah, I know.”_

 —

The drive was excruciatingly long as the tension built, and Lance knew it was a matter of time before it snapped. Finally, _finally_ he got to the front door, and carefully pushed the door open, afraid of what he’d find inside. He found...Keith, laughing? 

“What?” Lance thought aloud. 

Keith turned toward the door and all traces of a smile dropped from his face. “Lance,” he said, slowly getting to his feet. “I’m so sorry.”

Lance dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and stumbled forward, arms opening for a hug into which Keith launched himself. “I’m sorry, too,” Lance murmured into Keith’s hair. “I should’ve talked to you about it more. You’re part of this relationship, too.” 

Keith shook his head, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “It’s okay. Pidge helped me get some perspective. I shouldn’t hold you back from something you’ve wanted for this long. I just didn’t listen enough.”

Lance barked out a laugh. “Didn’t listen enough? Honey, you listen plenty. I just didn’t talk enough about it. I think deep down I was scared.” 

“I was terrified. You’d broken down all the walls I had built to protect myself and when it looked like you were just going to leave, I was left defenseless. I was more vulnerable than I cared to be,” Keith replied. “It was overwhelming.” He squeezed Lance a little tighter. “I know better now, though. You want me to come with you.”

Lance kissed his hair. “Yes, dummy, I want you to come with me. I never had a plan that didn’t include you.” 

Keith heard the door open and close, and he realized Pidge had left. “Can we...talk? About this situation? Soberly and without anger?”

Lance gave him a wry smile. “Like two adults? Absolutely.” He led Keith to the couch and they sat, knees touching. 

Keith breathed out an enormous sigh. “Good.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed this fic! 
> 
> Also I know this fic is pretty heavy, like YIkES, and I really don’t want it to come across as Keith being overly dependent (because he’s definitely not, that wouldn’t be in character) or Lance being insensitive and a major dick (because he’s not). But rough shit happens in relationships sometimes, no matter how healthy they usually are, and a combination of a) alcohol, b) fear, and c) anxiety triggered Keith’s panic. Additionally Keith is torn between a sense of duty and his love for Lance. Things are complicated. But they’re fine.

**Author's Note:**

> As always if you like this, please leave a comment and a kudos!!!


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